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Owen Belltower

Owen Belltower

Bacteria Colony On Bannon's Face Evolves To Bronze Age

July 27, 2022
It's hard to argue now, there's clear evidence confirming the theory of evolution directly on Steve Bannon's face. A recent close-up image of Bannon provided a sample for scientists to study the boom in microbiological activity. Bacteria are commonly found in all areas of the face, they're not harmful and do not cause infections. However, this new finding suggests that face bacteria, in the right conditions and in symbiosis with its host, can actually flourish and over time, evolve to reach ne

NOAA Team Shocked As Whale Drops Surprise Live Album

April 19, 2021
MARTHA'S VINEYARD - An up and coming Humpback whale has been dubbed "The BeyoncΓ© of whales" among scientists at the National Marine Fisheries Service after releasing an unannounced album titled "Black Lemonade," off the coast of Vineyard Sound on Sunday morning. "Thank God we were recording," says Marjory Belfuer, an endagered species biologist on the NOAA team. "We're in a new era of whale songs. Β Not only do you have whales dropping new tracks totally by surprise, and who knows how long they

Hospitals Advised To Send COVID Data Directly To White House Rubbish Bin

July 28, 2020
WASHINGTON, DC: A new initiative is now directing hospitals to send their patient data into a trash barrel in the East Wing, according to a New York Times article published on Tuesday. Effective tomorrow, the move comes by surprise for some within the CDC.

South-Facing Falmouth Property Boasts Lots Of Light, Escape Holes

February 22, 2020
Three-season's room? Make that FOUR seasons! The wide-open-floor living room is south-facing with LOTS of sunlight. Grow an indoor garden, heck, grow an OUTDOOR garden. No need to open the windows, that fresh summer breeze is only a matter of time!

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