latest

Naive Girl Working The Checkout At Wholefoods Thinks Everything Is "Just So Awesome"

Patch Blockbran was having an bland Monday morning, stopping at the Whole Foods in Hyannis. You wouldn't call it a case of "The Mondays."

"They have a nice selection of fresh food. And the hot food bar is great in the morning," Patch tells us. It's a nice experience at Whole Foods, everyone is chipper as a bug in springtime. Especially that one chick who is way happier than anyone around her. You can hear her talking as you approach the checkout line.

Oh my gawd, isn't it great to be here for like several years and watch all the kids grow up? It's just so awesome.
sofetch

Patch hasn't had a great year. Being laid off and struggling to find work, along with the political unrest and the state of the country, not to mention his cat is sick, he's got a lot to worry about.

"I'm not particularly depressed on Mondays. But do these people have to rub it in our faces? Yeah, you're having a good day, good for you. Keep it to yourself, right? This isn't social media, you're not on Facebook, this is real life." - Patch.

And how are you doing today, Sir? Hope you have a great rest of the week!

"Get out of my face and grow up you perky jerky." - Patch Blockbran

Author image
Falmouth