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Roy Moore Blames Sexual Assault Allegations On "Far-Left" Testicles

We all know that Judge Moore is a God-loving man. That's why he thanks the lord every day for his blessings and shares his wisdom with the community.

Today we all learned something new from his deep wisdom.

Those testicles that stick to your leg, they don't just lean to the right or the left, they're down right extremists.

Roy says "For far too long we've been held hostage by these ungodly temptations," and "These liberals want everything for free and expect everyone to give it to them. Talk about entitlement. They have no place in our society." At first you might think that the judge is about to castrate himself. Then he continues:

But let us not forget, we are God's children. Our bodies are pure, as Jesus intended. We can't live without these body parts, so we should find a way to forgive ourselves. And me. For anything that I did, for the record I didn't do anything wrong, but just in case, you can forgive me for whatever it was that I did, because it was the testicles, you see. Vote Moore!

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