latest

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Looking To Take Advantage Of Akido Martial Arts Training

Akido, the Japanese martial art, is more than self-defense. To Sarah Huckabee Sanders, it's a way of life. "At my first lesson, I learned that Akido teaches you courage, decisiveness, strength, clarity of mind, and compassion," and I said "Yeah, that's great and all, but..."

This Russia probe is really progressing. Just teach me how to fuck people up.

Sarah was exhausted from the repeated interrogations by CNN, ABC, NBC, and all the other real journalists. "I was concerned with the questions I was answering. They were really great questions! But they really conflicted with my goal to make the Trump administration look great," Sarah said. "I struggled with this conflict, with the lying. That is, until I found Akido."

After only weeks of training, sarah realized that her enemies are not the journalists and the press, as Trump would have her believe.

No. Sarah learned that her true enemies are within. As Morihei Ueshiba O-Sensei, the founder of Akido, once said: "The true victory is self-victory."

Sarah says that instead of deflecting questions, she can now question reality itself in her mind, and use those questions against her attackers.

Before, I actually had to lie. Now, I can rewire my inner self to believe anything without lying.

With each body-slam, Sarah's world opened up ever so subtley.

"She really caught on fast, probably in the top 5% of our students this year," Rohin Mugashi said. He's the master trainer for East Coast Akido in Washington, DC.

Rohin told us off the cuff "It really helps when you have something strong to motivate you like Sarah does. We already knew she was good at deflecting, but we were blown away when we saw her in person. I can't wait to see her at the next press conference. It will be her first true test."

We asked Sarah what she thought about this whole Russia thing. "Is it a big deal?" We said.

Sarah had only one reply: "Of course not," and smiled as we were suddenly dropped to the floor.

Author image
Falmouth