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Total 10 Posts

Bacteria Colony On Bannon's Face Evolves To Bronze Age

July 27, 2022
It's hard to argue now, there's clear evidence confirming the theory of evolution directly on Steve Bannon's face. A recent close-up image of Bannon provided a sample for scientists to study the boom in microbiological activity. Bacteria are commonly found in all areas of the face, they're not harmful and do not cause infections. However, this new finding suggests that face bacteria, in the right conditions and in symbiosis with its host, can actually flourish and over time, evolve to reach ne

Hospitals Advised To Send COVID Data Directly To White House Rubbish Bin

July 28, 2020
WASHINGTON, DC: A new initiative is now directing hospitals to send their patient data into a trash barrel in the East Wing, according to a New York Times article published on Tuesday. Effective tomorrow, the move comes by surprise for some within the CDC.

Woods Hole Activists Rebel Against Fascist Meter Maid

January 15, 2019
Last week Falmouth Police responded to a vandalized wall in Woods Hole, it read "RESIST" and featured a bright orange ticket held out by a dark figure in the shape of a parking ticket enforcement officer.

Trump Tariffs Begin To Hurt Cape's Cherished Whirly-Gig Industry

July 27, 2018
TRURO - With the increased cost of steel from China, local businesses have been forced to conserve whirly-gig supplies. "I could get a premium whirly-bird for about $20, now you'd be lucky to get a single colored gee-haw for that price!"

County Commissioner Bravely Defends Right To Harass Women, Drive Municipal Vans

February 25, 2018
Beaty, who serves on the three member board with an actual Pirate, refused to sign the document, leaving many questioning whether this was a larger cover-up. "I'm just saying I never seen him write in cursive before."

Republicans Add Last Minute "Trickle-Down Gift Giving" As Amendment To Tax Bill

December 16, 2017
Instead of giving gifts to your friends and family, Republicans think it would be better to give all your gifts to the wealthy, which will stimulate the economy and inevitably trickle down to your family.

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